These essays are an exercise in the use of satire, hyperbole, and overstatement by developing writers.
They are intended to be humorous, not offensive. Read them closely; take them lightly.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Saturday Night Live

Peter Strauch

Since Cardinal Newman students get so many days off of school, it is only normal that they watch a lot of TV. But what kind of TV program could appeal to all types of Cardinal Newman students? The show must be smart (but not too smart), politically savvy, and suggestive enough to satisfy the most avid of penis graffiti artists. That show would be Saturday Night Live.

Saturday Night Live (SNL) is usually on TV at 11:30 Saturday nights (Duh!). This timeslot is perfect because Cardinal Newman students usually stay up late surfing channels instead of doing their homework. But why do students love SNL so much? It’s comical and it makes fun of the President, but then again, so does FOX News. The answer is actually quite obvious: the sexual innuendo. Yes, Cardinal Newman students love finding sex references in everything, from the Bible to mathematical equations, and everything in between.

To the average Cardinal Newman student, the “Schweaty Balls” skit is funny no matter how many dozen times a student watches it. In this skit, famed baker Pete Schweaty lets the two women interviewers sample his delectably succulent Christmas treat. The same goes for the timeless “Wii Guys” skit (see picture) where we find Alec Baldwin shaking his Wii-mote with great vigor and Robert De Niro’s “Terrorist Watchlist” skit where college students nationwide call in to report terrorist activity from terrorists such as M’Balz Es-Hari. These skits are incredibly immature, but that’s okay because the skits remind Cardinal Newman students a lot about themselves.

When talking to a Cardinal Newman student about SNL, it is important to remember that Saturday Night Live wasn’t funny in the late 80s and early 90s, and that you should steer clear of any jokes made in that period. To accurately gauge this time period, start when Eddie Murphy left the show and end when Will Ferrell joined the show. Instead, reference a political figure lampooned on the show, maybe George W. Bush or Sarah Palin. Cardinal Newman students really like to pretend they are interested in politics, and not just in football and penis jokes.

1 comment:

  1. Man what a brilliant post! However, if i published this blog i would have found a MUCH better picture


Comments are encouraged. Each will be reviewed by Mr. Smith before posting. Any comments that are mean spirited or use inappropriate language toward the school or its students will not be posted. I especially welcome compliments, constructive criticism, questions, or general feedback on the essay.